BOTTOM

*

I love you for your bottom,

That sits upon the chair,

So smooth and rich and creamy,

And quite devoid of hair.

*

I love you for your bottom,

That wobbles when you walk,

So firm and thick and fruity, like

An uncooked piece of pork.

*

I love you for your bottom,

That swivels as you rumba.

The first time that I saw it,

I had to have your number.

*

I wish I were a toilet duck,

That's hidden in the loo,

So I could watch your bottom

As it strains at every poo.

I wish I were a toilet,

All wet and full of shit,

So if your noble bottom chanced

To squat a while in toilet stance

It would not e'er escape my glance

Oh what I'd give for such a chance

I'd cut my head off with a lance

Be carted off in an ambulance

Become a citizen of France

So much your bottom does entrance

Me, Oh

The roundness

And the whiteness

The softness

And the niceness,

An ornament

A masterpiece

An objet d'art

A golden fleece

I try to live my life in peace,

But am struck dumb

By the beauty, that

You call your bum.

*

© Alex Frankel 1998